Why adaptation is not a straight line: understanding emotional ups and downs after moving abroad
When we decide to move abroad, many of us expect a clear story: first it’s hard, then it gets better.
In reality, adaptation is rarely a smooth line going upwards. It looks more like a series of waves. Some weeks you feel excited and confident; other weeks you suddenly ask yourself, “Why am I here at all?”
Psychology and migration research actually supports this: emotional adaptation over time is usually non-linear. Understanding this can make your experience feel less like a personal failure and more like a very human process of living through change.
The myth of the perfect “U-curve”
Classic theories of culture shock describe adaptation as a U-curve:
Honeymoon – everything is new and exciting.
Crisis – culture shock, homesickness, frustration.
Recovery – learning how things work.
Adjustment – feeling more at home again.
These ideas go back to work by Lysgaard and Oberg in the 1950s–60s and have shaped how we talk about culture shock ever since.
More recent research, however, shows that people’s real experiences are much more varied. Longitudinal studies following migrants and international students over time found many different patterns: some people improve steadily, some go up and down several times, and some stay relatively stable.
So if your experience does not fit the perfect “U”, nothing is wrong with you. The model was always only a simplified drawing, not a rule.
Psychological vs. everyday adaptation
One reason adaptation is not linear is that it happens in different areas of life at different speeds.
Colleen Ward and colleagues distinguish between:
Psychological adaptation – how you feel inside: mood, anxiety, sense of wellbeing.
Sociocultural adaptation – how well you handle daily tasks: communication, bureaucracy, studies, work, social norms.
You might, for example:
learn to deal with public transport and paperwork quite quickly
but still feel lonely, anxious, or unsure of yourself months later
or the opposite:
feel emotionally curious and open
but struggle for a long time with language, work culture, or academic expectations.
Because these areas move at different speeds, your emotional curve naturally has ups and downs.
Common emotional patterns after moving abroad
Everyone is different, but many people recognise some of these phases:
Before leaving – anticipation and pressure
Excitement, fear, fantasies about how life will be “better over there”, pressure to “make this work” because of all the effort and money involved.
Early months – the mixed honeymoon
New places, new food, new routines.
You might feel energised and proud of yourself and exhausted and overstimulated. Small tasks (buying a SIM card, opening a bank account) can feel huge.
After the first months – the dip
Once practical tasks slow down, many people feel a drop. The reality of distance from family and old friends sets in. Differences in communication styles, humour, or social rules become more visible. This is often when people ask, “Why am I not happier? I chose this.”
Oscillating middle phase
You have some routines and maybe a favourite café, a route to work, a few relationships. You might feel okay for a while, then suddenly very low again – perhaps after a visit home, a comment about your accent, or a setback at work or university.
Longer-term adjustment
Over time, many people describe a more stable sense of “this is my life now”, even if there are still moments of homesickness or doubt. Some feel rooted in more than one place; others still feel quite in-between.
These are not strict stages you must go through. Think of them as common experiences that may appear in your own order and intensity.
When “normal ups and downs” become heavy
Feeling sad, disoriented, or lonely at times is a common part of adaptation. But there are moments when it is important to take your mental health seriously.
Research on acculturative stress shows that strong, long-lasting stress is linked with higher risks of depression and anxiety in migrants and international students.
It may be helpful to reach out for professional support if you notice, for several weeks or more:
persistent low mood or loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
strong anxiety, panic attacks, or constant worry
difficulties functioning in daily life (sleeping, concentrating, eating)
thoughts that life is not worth living
Seeking help is not a sign that you “failed to adapt”. It is part of taking care of yourself in a demanding context.
Demes, K. A., & Geeraert, N. (2015). The highs and lows of a cultural transition: A longitudinal analysis of sojourner stress and adaptation across 50 countries. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(2), 316–337. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000046
Neto, J., & Neto, F. (2025). Acculturation and adaptation of international students at Portuguese universities. Applied Psychology Research, 4(1), Article 3028. https://doi.org/10.59400/apr3028
Oberg, K. (1960). Cultural shock: Adjustment to new cultural environments. Practical anthropology, (4), 177-182.
Ward, C., Bochner, S., & Furnham, A. (2001). The psychology of culture shock. Routledge.
Zhou, Y., Jindal-Snape, D., Topping, K., & Todman, J. (2008). Theoretical models of culture shock and adaptation in international students in higher education. Studies in Higher Education, 33(1), 63–75. https://doi.org/10.1080/03075070701794833
